i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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