i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
