Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
