she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
