Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
