we have officially lost it.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
