if i can run in heels then i can drive
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
