So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
