Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
