ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
