Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
