Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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