I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize