I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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