I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
