craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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