her vagina looked like bernie madoff
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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