We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
