I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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