Kareoke will never be a sober sport
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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