he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
