There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize