erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
