I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
