one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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