I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
