When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
