Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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