you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
