How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
