No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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