Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
