Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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