K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
