Is it because I queefed?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize