Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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