I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
