I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
