The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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