my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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