I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize