you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I need moral support for this bender
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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