oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
