omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wish there were birth control emojis
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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