just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
