i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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