Yo dont text me then not text me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
