Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
