So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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