Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
