lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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