is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
