How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize