I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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