Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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