yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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