is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
