i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
