we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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