i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is Oprah even human
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
