It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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