So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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