I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just invented taco cereal.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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