i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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