I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize