God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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