My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
