I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize