i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
