This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
