in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he was CRYING into my vagina
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
